THE MACHINE

ryan and i saw open water last night, at the metreon. i really liked it, ryan thought it was okay. anyhow, though, we got there like an hour and a half early, because ryan was hungry and it is impossible to spend more than 30 minutes inside a mel's diner. it's not great service or disgust with the place, it's just some strange time warp within. seriously, you could take a party of 28 to mel's diner, order dinner and dessert for everyone, and walk out the front door 5 minutes after you walked in. it's a complete mystery. so, yeah, don't go there if you have time to waste, of course, none of this applies if you have injested ridiculous amounts of liquor or drugs. the best restaurant to waste time in is angeli's. you can't spend less than an hour in that place to save your life. god, i miss angeli. anyhow, back to the story.
so we get to the metreon ridiculously early, and decide to play in the arcade. not the high-tech futuristic you-need-a-credit-card-to-ride-this-game arcade, but the theatre lobby arcade. anyhow, ryan and i were pure comedy. i think we're just too old for arcade games. they have pinball machines, which i was immediately drawn to. i hadn't played in years, but i love me some pinball. the thing is, i have no idea what's going on. all i know is you don't want the ball to go into the pit, and to stop it from doing so, you need to smack the shit out of those side buttons and scream a lot. so, i pull up onto the lord of the rings pinball machine, because it was the only one open. i insert my 4 quarters. i kid you not- 4 fucking quarters to play pinball. to play ONE GAME of pinball. but we had time to kill, and i was attracted to all the bright flashing lights in it, so the quarters were in before i could remember what i was complaining about. the guy playing next to me was good. i only knew he was good because he didn't have to keep putting quarters in, like me. i think he had to be good. he was homeless. and when you make a conscious decision to spend a dollar on pinball over food, you need to make that dollar last. any time that shiny metal ball fell into the pit, he knew he was missing out on a bite of hamburger. there was something frighteningly cool about choosing pinball over food, though. so, as soon as i start playing, i go into sensory overload. there are bright lights, loud bells, little dragons popping out of the ground. i felt like i was on a bad acid trip. i forgot there was a world around me. it was just me and the machine and lots of screaming and whimpering. then the machine started shaking. and suddenly i was that 5 year old boy who knew he was in trouble, but wasn't exactly sure why. i looked guiltily from side to side, as the machine shook and roared, and finally asked in my quietest voice, "did i break it?"
"no man! you're going to fight shalom's warriors!" the homeless man said without taking an eye off his own game.
"what does that mean?!"
"that means you get 6 balls at once."
i was beside myself. i couldn't even keep my eye on one ball without going into pokemon-esque seizures. needless to say, there was much more screaming and whimpering, and then the fist of anger and defeat, once my 6th ball fell into the pit, and failed to return to it's little launch pad.
i set out to find ryan and, more importantly, more quarters. when i found him, he was dodging, ducking and sweating profusely, while shooting some video screen just ahead of the escalators. people were ascending from the second floor, wide eyed at ryan looking like he was literally fighting for his life. when he lost, we declared an end to arcade games, and thought it better for everyone, if we just sit in the empty theatre.
i need to write more... i just haven't had the time. what i really need is internet at home. really.